The story is captivating, and the writing is very good. I'm a pushover when it comes to love stories and sci-fi or fantasy stories, so this was doubly appreciated.
This line in particular stood out for me:
"Love becomes the sunrise, making the day more than a checklist, but something to live for."
I know from painful experience that its absence becomes a darkness, a dearth of light more stark than the deepest midnight.
An article I read today offered the idea that sleep is the normal mode of our existence, and waking is an aberration. If it's true, maybe dreams are the reality of our lives and waking is only a hallucination. Who knows the truth?
I hope you don't mind, but I'm a compulsive proofreader, and I noticed a few typos you might want to correct:
"I reviled in this divine love." I think you meant "reveled."
Later in that same paragraph, "casted shadows" should be "cast shadows."
Thank you so much for the free editing service and the kind, insightful feedback. I edited most of these chapters during my lunch break at work, where I had poor wifi connection (even though my job required it, it was so annoying) and most of the changes I made didn't stick. I didn't have the energy to edit it all over again when I came home from work, so I just said welp, that's a problem for when I'm finished with the novel and preparing it for submission lol.
I think that this character felt very deeply, and while she was the type of person who learned the most through relationship, she found it hard to encounter others that met her depth.
Anyway, this is just the beginning of a long journey, and I'm so glad this first part has caught your attention. It motivates me to keep going, so thank you for that!
A quote from the character Andrew Martin in the movie "Bicentennial Man" (which was adapted from a novel by the inimitable Isaac Asimov) is appropriate here, "One is glad to be of service."
It's interesting how other people view things differently - there was a bit in part 4 which I just read where she talks about other people interpreting her painting: "To be an artist is to live your truth. To have others reach out to you in response to your creation unveils a corridor to an infinite number of entryways that lead to this truth."
The story is captivating, and the writing is very good. I'm a pushover when it comes to love stories and sci-fi or fantasy stories, so this was doubly appreciated.
This line in particular stood out for me:
"Love becomes the sunrise, making the day more than a checklist, but something to live for."
I know from painful experience that its absence becomes a darkness, a dearth of light more stark than the deepest midnight.
An article I read today offered the idea that sleep is the normal mode of our existence, and waking is an aberration. If it's true, maybe dreams are the reality of our lives and waking is only a hallucination. Who knows the truth?
I hope you don't mind, but I'm a compulsive proofreader, and I noticed a few typos you might want to correct:
"I reviled in this divine love." I think you meant "reveled."
Later in that same paragraph, "casted shadows" should be "cast shadows."
"Asses" should be "assess."
"Excepted" should be "expected."
Looking forward to reading more soon.
Thank you so much for the free editing service and the kind, insightful feedback. I edited most of these chapters during my lunch break at work, where I had poor wifi connection (even though my job required it, it was so annoying) and most of the changes I made didn't stick. I didn't have the energy to edit it all over again when I came home from work, so I just said welp, that's a problem for when I'm finished with the novel and preparing it for submission lol.
I think that this character felt very deeply, and while she was the type of person who learned the most through relationship, she found it hard to encounter others that met her depth.
I like that idea, and have written something parallel to that here: https://kerryjane.substack.com/p/on-dreams
Anyway, this is just the beginning of a long journey, and I'm so glad this first part has caught your attention. It motivates me to keep going, so thank you for that!
A quote from the character Andrew Martin in the movie "Bicentennial Man" (which was adapted from a novel by the inimitable Isaac Asimov) is appropriate here, "One is glad to be of service."
Going to read "On Dreams" right now.
Beautiful
So happy this was well received by you. This lifetime is actually my least favorite part to Metanoia 😬👉👈
It's interesting how other people view things differently - there was a bit in part 4 which I just read where she talks about other people interpreting her painting: "To be an artist is to live your truth. To have others reach out to you in response to your creation unveils a corridor to an infinite number of entryways that lead to this truth."
I adored that bit...