What I Struggle With as a Writer

All aboard the struggle bus - this sh*t is hard.

It has been another daunting week of not satisfying the goals I set out to accomplish several months ago. But that’s just it - is it entirely fair to hold myself accountable for expectations of the distant past when I had no forecast of what was to come? I say no, not entirely. So today I decided to share what is easy to talk about.

Today I’ve put together some obstacles I face when it comes to the pursuit of writing.

Being my own motivator.

The sad reality about being a writer is that no one cares. Don’t get all bent out of shape by this statement, your readership obviously cares enough to click on the email and see what you’ve procured for them on a Thursday afternoon.

What I mean is that it’s not life changing. Your readership will continue on living without your content as they normally would. They will shower in the eternal faucet of media we are bombarded with on a daily basis and find something else to snack on. So why write to begin with?

I believe that there’s something to be gained out of the process itself when it comes to all creative ventures. Whether it’s painting, drawing, or sewing, it’s not just the end product of your work that you benefit from. Let us not forget that something that is made well is not just a reflection of a person’s skill but a testament to their commitment to themselves and what was learned from it. Being your own motivator comes with understanding your responsibility to yourself in this way and that writing is a journey that you get to share with others - and that’s beautiful.

Seeing the value in my writing.

Continuing on with my first point, it’s quite hard to be your own motivator when you doubt your creation. For me, this largely comes from knowing that I’m not a person who is easily understood, or even known for that matter. I’m certain that elements of my writing reflect this and will inevitably go over most people’s heads.

Something I’ve learned over the years is that people have to be told what to like. This is especially true in American culture where the sheep-like pathology of consumerism thrives. I know that what I create doesn’t fit the mold of the marketplace planet, and I follow the belief that it doesn’t have to to be good, but sometimes it still irks me to know that I don’t meet the standard and that I can’t reach the right people because of it.

Dialogue.

There’s internal dialogue and then there’s what people actually say, and these are not the same. I’m highly aware of this and yet I can’t come up with good conversations that both serve the plot and unfold organically. This is simply not where I shine as a writer, and being fully aware of it helps.

Character development.

I have this sneaky trick with character development where I solely depend on my expertise as a numerologist to develop three dimensional people. I know the life paths intimately and I know how their qualities can blend together to form not just a person but a person with a purpose and their own unique way of existing in their world. Although helpful, this method is limiting.

Actually writing the damn thing.

Making writing a priority is nearly impossible when life becomes too much to handle. There are times when I am too overwhelmed by the work week and the never ending maintenance of begin alive, all while serving as my support system. It leads to inconsistency and I believe that writing is a state of mind. You might take small breaks from it but when the tides of life overcome all inessential activities, getting back in that mindset can be tumultuous. I am giving myself space so that I can properly serve the writing journey. My biggest hope is that one day I will publish something that will touch someone’s heart, mind, or soul and facilitate their own transformation. That’s what Metanoia is about and where my obligation lies.

I’d love to read your thoughts and see what aspects of writing you struggle with. I think that the points I outlined are fairly common and I know they’ll be relatable to most of you.

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Thank you all so much for being here and taking the time to read my humble newsletter. I wish you luck on your creative endeavor, whatever that may be.