Rubber Glove

February 2025 | The 9 Year, 2 Month

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Wondering what this numerology stuff is all about? Read about it here.

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It feels as though there is a rubber glove over every neuron in my body.

This thought came to me as I was lying in my bed on a dark January evening, floating through time as a passive bystander, both empty and restless, as I still am, staring at the blinking cursor of this draft.

It feels as if there is a rubber glove around every dendrite, axon and terminal of these cells, and I’m not sure if this is a result of my disassociation, or the scar tissue left behind from the last 12 years (or both).

This thought was immediately followed by another, which is actually a memory of my last work assignment as a Junior Specialist in fisheries conservation. Tasked with the spawning operations of a little known endemic fish of the San Fransisco Bay Estuary, my job was to assist the meticulous endeavor of making carefully selected crosses of a laboriously cultivated refuge population of Delta smelt.

Source

Many people (politicians who are whores for money and their sheep) blame this fish for wildfires and water shortages (yes you heard me right). That’s just because it’s easier to attack a fish than the real culprits, who are unsurprisingly those who are holding large bags of money in Big Agriculture and other surrounding industries who are committed to running our monopoly game into the ground, and the biosphere capable of sustaining human life along with it. Currently the facility harboring the refuge population of Delta smelt is at risk of being compromised thanks to the new administration, as well as other critical projects in natural resource management.

I digress.

I bring this up because spawning the smelt meant picking up every single fish to assess their reproductive fitness and for identification. You can immediately tell which fish are male and female by touch, the females having a smoother, slimy texture and the males having a rough, textured surface. They are tiny, and so each one needs to be handled with care, but also tightly enough so that you don’t lose your grip and send them to their death on the hard concrete floor. Others preferred wearing gloves for this task, as do many, but I didn’t understand this. Wearing gloves means cutting oneself off to the tactile feedback necessary to do the job right. This is the cautionary message for February.

Art by Carol Cavalaris

February is a 2 month, which is about diplomacy, love, duality, and emotions. We saw this number in December, when I called for a softer approach. The same is true, but now in the 9 year, something slightly different is being asked of the collective, which is to shed what emotionally binds us, to let go of inner conflicts, and to slow down enough to feel again. We might have to take off the rubber gloves and brave the icy waters and the unpleasant sensation. It is hard contending with the reality that the only way out is through. The only way to do this is slowly, with care, and with kindness towards yourself.

Going beyond the individual in this chapter of the 9-year cycle, this is a time when the polarization deepens, and what I fear will solidify even more. It can get very dark here. The pain, uncertainty, and the fear - don’t stare at it for too long. Take a deep breath, and move through it. This is your reminder that your sensitivities, your empathy to your human family and all the life on this planet, is not your weakness, it’s your strength.

I cannot stress this enough - it is vital that you do not lose your compassion in the wake of humanity’s horror. Use that as fuel to fortify it for those who need it most right now. This entire year is about surrender, and this month we’re being asked to surrender to what hurts, let it wash over us and through us, and then away from us, where at a safe distance we will see what remains and what actually mattered to our hearts all along.

I like what

The Wild Life with Devon the Nature Guy

said in this reel and I wish this message reached more people- “You know that unbearable weight in your chest right now?… That’s your humanity, thats your empathy. Please do not lose that. Use it.”

That being said, this month’s song is All Is Soft Inside by Aurora (Yes, another Aurora song, I apologize but she has it right again)

If you would like to know more about what this year has in store for you, sign up for my monthly readings on Patreon, and feel free to ask me any questions you might have about this service or numerology at large.